The Guardian is flogging an absurdly over-the-top watch on its website. Because the watch is radio-controlled, accuracy is guaranteed to “within one second in a million years”. The watch also boasts five daily alarms, a 1/100 second stopwatch, and world time. The Guardian promises that “you should never be late for a meeting or over-run on your parking meter ever again”. Wisely, the paper does not promise that you will stop being a sad person.