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Feeling peaky

I have this image of the 19-strong Emergency Economy Committee sitting down in Number 10 Downing Street in London (as they did yesterday, for the first time) to discuss the money crisis. The economy war-room is lined with screens on which red graphs plunge downwards. The Prime Minister calls the meeting to order: “Any suggestions?” Before any of the 19 hand-picked experts, the finest financial minds in the land, can speak, a functionary bursts into the room bearing a clipboard. “Prime Minister, we really must deal with the peak oil crisis, right now”. The Prime Minister opens his mouth to reply, but before he can speak another functionary comes in waving another print-out: “Peak phosphorous, peak phosphorous, it’s going to run out and there’ll be no bread and we’re all going to starve” the functionary babbles. At this point the Prime MInister stands up and stamps his foot: “I don’t want to hear any more bad news. Someone give me some good news”. At this point a small nerdy guy comes in and says, “Prime Minister, we really need you to co-ordinate emergency international action on the peak indium crisis”. “Where the hell is Indium” cries Brown. “It’s not a place, Prime Minister, it’s a rare metal” stammers the nerd.”It’s essential to the production of liquid displays but it’s going to run out and when that happens the world will run out of computer displays”. “You mean, like the displays in this room?” asks Brown. “I’m afraid so, yes, Prime Minister”. “Excellent” cries Brown, and claps the nerd on the back. “I’m appointing you Minister for Clear Thinking. “I want you to buy up all the indium in the world and pour it down that hole where we keep all the nuclear waste”.

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